Avatar - Sorry But WTF! (Spoilers)
Okay, okay, credit where credit is due. The concept is admirable, the cinematography beautiful and who would pass up the chance to sit in the theatre wearing a pair of oversized darkers all in the name of art! What scares me most is that there is a Facebook group dedicated to those unable to bear the fact that Pandora is not real, clinically depressed at the realisation they will never make that journey to a planet where the sinewy, long limbed inhabitants are blue and possess hair with the frightening ability to penetrate every other living organism.
I was engrossed in the entire first half of the film and then it happened! Yes, thats right, the mating scene. I’m sorry but it’s just wrong. I’m all for mixed race relationships but mixed species - it was disturbing to say the least! Thinking of the words to describe it makes me cringe. The music changed, they nuzzled into each others necks and faces. They squatted into a sexual position familiar to most people who have come of age. Then… nothing! Only the declaration that they have mated and were now matched for life! Ewww. Ewww and more Ewwww. Why were the aliens humanized to this degree? Why were they similar in shape? Why did they have sex in almost the same way? Why did they kiss the way humans do? Oh, because that is the only way the plot could work, the only way the crippled human could enter into and exist in their world so easily. Yes thats right, within two weeks he had mastered their behaviour, hunted better than most of their strongest warriors and was waltzing away with their hottest chick.
So if this is not all bad enough, anyone watching the movie would have thought, okay nothing new here,a certain set of people going into land already occupied, driving the indigenous population out and all for their own gain. Sound familiar? Yeah, Africa, America to name but two. So its all accurate up until the point that one of the invaders infililtrates the aliens and joins them, no not as a low ranking soldier, as their hero!!! The scene where the men of the tribe began to bow - Excuse me while I puke. Really, we don’t need the sugar coating. It was every western all over again, some well meaning white man rides into the camp, says ‘Hey Ho, me name White Leaf’ (later promoted to ‘White Chief’ ,or something equally ridculous and then being the most moral being on the planet proceeds to try to stop the other white people from committing the categorical genocide which is about to take place. Invariably some Indian is saved, perhaps the white mans bride because inevitably he would have been offered the Indian Cheifs most prized daughter by this point. I would have found the film far more enjoyable if the humans had wiped out Pandora, because the idea that mother nature conspires to save itself, while ideal is just not real, that would be the job of the inhabitants I’m afraid.
On a lighter note it was rather comical when Blue Beauty, herself ran to the aide of her human lover (in his real state, that is smaller, whiter and less able to walk than the leaping warrior she had come to love). My friend leaned over and whispered, ’I wonder what she thinks when she sees the real him, and he can’t walk!’ Well we didn’t want to disrupt other cinema goers but all manner of hilarity ensued. Well in that aspect we left fulfilled, the film was supposed to provide some light entertainment, and you needn’t worry Beauty didn’t seem at all shocked to see what our hero really looked like, almost as if she expected it. Hmmm….
Please, please do see this movie. It’s interesting and entertaining! But bear in mind.. WTF, WTF, WTF!
